Feldspar

Sending shockwaves through the fine dining establishment with her boundary-pushing menu of crystal- and ore-based offerings, visionary chef Caroline Sissen has proven that she is far ahead of the gastronomic curve by anticipating humankind’s eventual evolution to consuming rocks for sustenance. While entirely toxic to current customers, Sissen’s signature dishes, such as shale salad and flame-broiled obsidian cutlets, are certain to be appreciated anew in about a million years when humans have developed an advanced digestive tract capable of absorbing nutrients from concretions of mineral matter. While most Century City diners lack the 200-pound pancreas necessary to survive the mica-glazed roast amethyst, that hasn’t stopped the buzz from building around this truly revolutionary restaurant and its avant-garde seven-course gravel tasting menu. With reservations nearly impossible to come by, Feldspar is packing its tables with LA’s top foodies and packing Cedars-Sinai with intestinal rupture patients—and it shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Specialty: Pan-seared geode
Best Time To Go: After the development of silicon-based intestines
Insider Tip: Sample six different rocks with an igneous flight
Price Range: All bauxite entrees are based on that day’s market price
Seating: Compatible with the anticipated tripedal stage of human evolution